"How in the world…"

Oh, come on, ye young folk, gather round for my song -

Your lives have been short, but mine has been long -

Time is laying a trap for you, lying in wait -

By the time he has struck, we'll be gone -

And then you'll be singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues.

I've got one knee that won't bend, and one won't go straight -

Years ago, unwittingly I sealed my fate -

I left gym class too early to go read my books

Now I feel like I've arrived at Death's gate -

And I found myself singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues.

Well, "Eat less and excercise?" What did they know!

I'd the world by the tail and I knew where to go -

My cream-cheese-and-cherry-pie, and my chocolate cake too -

Have conspired like the ocean's undertow -

And I found myself singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues.

So take a lesson, young people, from this tired old bat -

Get up and get moving, find out where it's at -

Don't you drink-too-much-smoke-too-much-sit-on-the-couch -

Or you'll wake up so old and so fat

You'll be lost and be singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues!

April Fools

No, I didn't forget the apostrophe. I'm talking about all the humans on this, the first day of April, 2010. We are each, in our own way, a Fool.

And I'm a HUGE Fool!

One week to go before Boyfriend returns. This, the fifth week of his absence, is my most hectic since I last moved from one apartment to another, because I moved my office at work.

Well, actually, a LOT of people moved my stuff from one office to two others.

Yes, I have two offices. One is called an office, the other is called a "workroom." That's where I do my graphics…sorta…stuff…. Something few people understand but everybody agrees is necessary.

Since January, my Boss and I and one other Tech have been behind locked doors, trying to adjust to what it was our "Betters" had decided we were going to be doing here from now on. It quickly became apparent there really wasn't anything that could technically be called a "plan." Our Betters are making it up as they go along. And so are we.

This morning, while buying breakfast, I came up with my latest "plan."

Since nobody has a clear idea of what exactly it is I'm actually supposed to be doing, I've decided I'm going to do whatever the hell I want, until I get reprimanded. By that, I don't mean just the Boss' saying "Hey - I told you not to do that." Nope - in fact - since Boss is one of "Us" and he's being hurt by "Them" more than I am, I'm going to do my best not to make his life any harder.

I'm talking the union getting involved, and a permanent note being put in my file.

In short, I've decided to be what I am when I am at my best: a shit-disturber.

That is to say, a gigantic April Fool.