Thursday, May 29, 2014

Migraines

I saw the neurologist yesterday, about my migraines. This particular doctor is one of those rarities who will explain things to his patients, thoroughly, till all their questions are answered. And he asks questions of the patients, lots of them. And does physical checks to assess pain. 

He's a gem.

He's one of the leading scientists in his field, having helped develop or oversee the development of (I forget which) at least one highly effective medication for migraines.

A bigwig. And a gem.

Being thorough often means your appointment runs late, but this one is worth waiting for.

I saw him first around 15 years ago when migraines had become so problematic for me that my ability to function was being impacted on an almost daily basis. I had one type of treatment then, and for about a decade I then only experienced migraines about twice a year.

Then they recently flared up again, more than 10 in a month on average, so I looked him up again and waited out the delay for getting an appointment, and boy, am I ever glad I did!

I learned more about migraines in my appointment yesterday, information that has helped me understand some of the puzzle pieces of my life.

I brought Hubby into the interview with me this time, and Doc immediately began addressing him. (Later on, Hubby and I discussed this, and we came to the conclusion that most husbands think their wives are simply nuts or trying to get out of making supper when they complain of migraines. This isn't the case with Hubby or Boyfriend, but it did underscore the fact that migraines have been largely misunderstood for a long time.)

Surprising facts about migraines:


  1. They're a genetic defect in the (insert terribly technical term here) largest nerve in the human body.
  2. The WHO (World Health Organization) has placed them 9th on the list of incapacitating diseases.
  3. A migraine is a storm in the brain that goes on for days. Sort of like a smaller version of Jupiter's big Red Spot. And pain is the last symptom to appear. When the pain hits, the storm has been running for three days in the brain already.


Doc went on to illustrate to Hubby and me the difference between our brains. He took out a pen with the nib retracted and began to scribble wildly on the surface of the desk, which made an annoying small noise. He said that, were he to continue making this noise for an hour, Hubby's brain would eventually become habituated to the sound, and he would be able to "tune in out."

Not so with the migraine sufferer's brain. We never become habituated to the stimulus. The sound is as annoying twenty seconds in as twenty minutes or twenty hours.

This information came as a revelation to me, one of those blasts-from-heaven kinds of revelations. It explained so many things about my reactions in one fell swoop, it was like being hit by the proverbial lightning bolt!

"…never become habituated to the stimulus…" Wow - does that ever explain me! For starters, it explains why, years ago, when we had a Media Centre where I worked and we had specific times during the day when we were serving customers, I was unable to ignore people when it was someone else's time to serve the counter. I could HEAR them waiting. I could hear them coming down the hallway, putting their books down, taking off their coats...and I used to think my co-workers were deaf, daft, or just plain lazy and incompetent for not getting up right away to serve people. I used to get pretty steamed at them. It did not make for a harmonious working relationship. My longsuffering Boss used to tell me, repeatedly, to just ignore it and let the people who were supposed to be serving them do so, and just get on with the workorders I was working on.

But I couldn't! I couldn't let it go, and it always seemed an eternity to me till someone would get up.

But it wasn't an eternity. It was my brain on migraines. It was a hyper sensitivity to stimulus. I could no more ignore the fact that there were people waiting at the counter than I could ignore a screaming baby or my own limbs being cut off with a chainsaw.

And it wasn't my fault.

That's a biggie, because all these years I've been blaming myself for being stupid, or easily distracted, or hot-under-the-collar over this issue. I have been busy chastising myself for my inability to do what I was told - namely, getting on with my work and letting someone else help the clients.

And now I understand that I couldn't help it. That's it's a genetic defect in a major nerve of the brain. That once the nerve gets jangling, there is nothing I could do to stop it, and a few days later there would be a migraine as a result. 

I now understand that my colleagues weren't necessarily stupid or lazy or inconsiderate. 

They were habituated. They were able to tune out sounds they heard as "background noise."

For me, there is no such thing as "background noise." I've always had a hard time with the radio playing in the car, with people trying to hold conversations while the tv was on.

Because I can't tune it out! Now, I've known for a long time that I can't do that, but now I know WHY!

It's also why I never let Daughter talk on the phone to her friends when Star Trek was on. Why music playing in a kid's room, or a kid talking on a cell phone, would drive me nuts. Because I simply can't tune it out. Ever.

It may sound like a small thing, but this understanding comes for me as a huge relief. All these years I thought I was just disagreeable, just ornery. "Affectations!" Hubby used to tease me. "Selective hearing!" I used to snap back. I used to wonder what was wrong with him, he'd have a radio on in every room of the house, all tuned to different stations, and the tv on as well. He wasn't "listening" to any of it, and meanwhile my brain was fighting to make sense of all of, all at once.

And once that nerve started jangling, there was no stopping it.

Well, that's it for today's rant. I hope I haven't bored you with my fascination on this subject. I'm going to mull this one over for a long time.

But I do recommend to any migraine sufferers out there that you skip the over-the-counter meds and the GPs and head to a neurologist. Mine's got 3,000 patients, but these guys to to school for a reason, and specialize for a reason. 

I'm just so glad there are specialists out there that we can, eventually, get to see.

No comments: