Navigation Issues

So I decided today was the day I would go hunting for summer-weight leggings. I've seen a lovely long blouse I want to buy for my summer wardrobe, but I need leggings to go with it. I've been poking around all the "large-lady" stores (there's a joke in there about big-box stores, if I could find it...) but all they have for summer are capris. I want full length.

There was nothing for it - I had to go to Walmart, something I rarely do, and usually dread. Because the Walmart is at the 10/30 mall.

For those of you who don't know, the 10/30 mall is at the intersection of highway 10 and highway 30. And it's not a mall you can walk around in, it's a small city. Every big-name store in Canada has a building here.

But there are no road signs. Plenty of streets with stop signs and traffic lights, but no street signs. Occasionally you find a street that has a name, but by the time you see the sign you're past the street.

I managed to find my way to the general area. I even saw the Walmart itself, and aimed the car at it - but, sadly, the road refused to let me turn that way and I found myself in short order on what appeared to be a highway. Luckily for me, there was an exit only 2 kilometers away, I turned right, and tried again.

This time I pulled into a parking spot and turned on google maps on my phone. It gave me directions, which I followed, which made no sense to me, but I've grown to have faith in the gps. It seemed to me I drove around the same block twice, but I did in fact end up at Walmart!

I had a very pleasant time there, actually. See, I avoid shopping like the plague. So when I do let myself out, it's kind of a treat...

(I can hear my Daughter's voice echoing in my head - "Mom - you have no life!")

I got an umbrella, some leggings, and discovered that Walmart sells fat quarters (fabric for quilting). A very enjoyable time.

As I buckled in for the ride home, this time I took no chances and turned on the gps right away.

And proceeded to get well and truly lost.

I don't think it was updating fast enough. I tried valiantly to find the street it kept insisting I turn right on. (No right turn here.) I found a street, and kept glancing at the little triangle on the map. Didn't seem to matter whether I followed the voice instructions or not, that little triangle was not going to line up with the route.

"In 600 meters, keep right at the fork."
"In 300 meters, keep right at the fork."
"In 100 meters, keep right at the fork."
"Keep left at the fork."

Did you see that? In advertising, they call this "bait and switch." I went left.

And found myself barrelling down some highway, to the sound of...

"In 9 kilometers, take the exit for blah blah blah blah."

(The "blah blah" bit is because the gps mispronounces names so badly I don't recognize them."

At which point I phoned Hubby.

"I'm on my way to Vermont," I said.

"What highway are you on?" he asked.

"Damned if I know! Listen, stay home for a bit, okay? I may need you to come find me!"

"Did you get your leggings?" he inquired.

"Oh yes," I told him, "and more. I got an umbrella, a bath mat, and some fat quarters!"

There was a moment's hesitation, then Hubby said, 

"Which you'll now have to declare at the border..."