Weight Loss

I am puzzling over why I seem to have lost 25 lbs. without trying. Oh yes, I've been eating a bit differently over the course of the past year. I rarely have desserts any more. I've been aiming for more protein and fewer carbs. My appetite/consumption has diminished considerably. I drink water rather than juice, and chips and chocolate are all but unheard-of now, compared to when they were a staple.

But 25 lbs? And no exercise to speak of... I could see losing 5 lbs that way...

The weight has come off by itself, and that's just not ever been my experience, nor, to listen to the tales, the experience of others.

I fear there's something else at play.

I made Hubby go to the doctor several years ago when he began dropping weight without any changes in his diet, and it turned out he had diabetes.

And of course, the "C" word looms large in everyone's minds these days.

So yesterday I humphed myself off to the doc - the gyno - because I wanted him to refer me for a mammogram. I got a bit more than I expected - a referral as well to a gastroenterologist so I can have - yay - a colonoscopy.

The last time I had one of those, I swore I'd rather die than have another. It's not the test itself, it's the prep. You drink this poison that looses everything in the bowels so that by the day of the test you're all pink and clean inside and they can see what's going on. That in itself would be fine - but it makes you naseous as well. Like, really naseous. I don't handle that well at all - get feeling v e r y sorry for my poor suffering self. That's when I swore I'd never do it again.

However, I'm concerned enough to go through with it, even though I doubt that may be the trouble spot, if there is one. But I'd rather be careful.

Now I have to find a doc to send me to get my sugar tested. And since I've had a constant headache (very mild) in one specific spot on the back of my head for a month now, I should probably find a neurologist to get me a scan.

It's all very tiresome, this finding of doctors and appointments and tests. The temptation is to say "Oh you're just imagining it, you've got nothing to worry about," leave it at that, and buy smaller pants.

But I remember when my Grandma lost weight with no changes in her diet, and she had breast cancer.

No, the phrase "no pain, no gain" rings true for me here, though in this especial case, the "gain" is loss - weight loss.

It just seems too easy. Too good to be true. And you know what they say about that.

Goin' Dancin'

Well, yesterday I did something I've always wanted to do. I signed up for an erotic pole-dancing workshop! Hubba hubba!

Of course, I recall a couple of years ago, when I did a brief stint of ballet. Oh, yeah, it's in my blood. Oh yeah, without boasting, I was the only one in a class of 40 who "got it" the first time the teacher explained something, who could do the correct forms. Of course, one thing hampered me - I'm overweight. I looked like one of Disney's Dancing Hippos. While standing at the bar, I didn't have to look in the mirror - I could look around the room and see all these skinny people getting all the exercises wrong... I purposefully avoided looking in the mirrors...

Of course, one day after class, a very sweet 20-something lass came up to me and said in reverent tones, "I think you're SO BRAVE for doing this!"

Ouch. That bad, eh?

So, I have a pretty good idea now how I will be perceived when I go pole-dancing. Even though I've lost 23 pounds since my ballet class days, there's still a lot of me to love...

But I'm digging out the weights and I'm gonna work on my upper-body strength, mostly so I don't fall flat on my face...

Because no matter what I look like, I FEEL sexy. And I LOVE to move my body suggestively! I'm not doing this for hubby, or for any man or any other person in the world - I LOVE to dance, I LOVE to feel sexy, I'm doing this for ME.

No matter how silly I look.