The Witches' Ball

Well, some of you know this already, but as it figures in today's blog, I must confess my religion.

I am a witch.

Now, whenever I tell people that, they invariably look at me sideways, inhale sharply, back away a step or two, then they all ask me the same question:

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" they inquire, quoting from The Wizard of Oz.

I usually pause for effect and then ask them, "Is there room in there for mediocre?"

Or, "Let's say I'm as good a witch as I was a christian."

In other words, I'm just not particularly good at all, but not too bad...

This, of course, is not what people are expecting. They want to know whether I am evil or not. For that you see, you have to wait till "Judgement Day" if such is your belief. Or for the historians of tomorrow.

A witch can be a man or a woman. The "religion" if you have to call it that, is commonly known as Wicca.

For me, it's a celebration of the various seasons. A "nature" religion, if you wish to put a label on it. Paganism.

I became interested in Wicca after I learned enough about it to understand three things:

1) I did not have to believe any particular thing,
2) I did not have to practise any particular thing,
and
3) I did not have to associate with any particular group.

"That," I said, "is MY KIND of religion!"

I am what is known as a "solitary," meaning I keep to myself and only occasionally join in public rituals. In point of fact, I only occasionally do any rituals whatsoever - but that's because I am lazy. This level of devotion - ie, practically nonexistant - suits me just fine.

However, when someone proposes something that promises to be FUN - well, I am right there! With bells on!

I love parties.

In point of fact, I've been known to throw a few good ones. No matter whether I was married or single, my parties have made the social headlines. Mostly, I think, because people are slightly surprised by how much fun they can have.

I once had a party where there were no fewer than 130 invitees. I put notes on all the apartment doors in a two-block radius, giving my neighbours three weeks' notice to either come or get out of town. I rented a sound system. I recorded music ahead of time, mixes. No long fadeouts, no overlapping. Just finish one song and start the next.

My former DJ hubby of the day informed me this was BOUND to fail, however, the 100 or so dancing fools up at any one time proved him wrong. I have a good ear for music that people like to dance to.

One couple met at this party and ended up getting married. A lot of my pals said they had wondered, they weren't sure if they'd come or not, but wow were they ever glad they had.

I clear space for dancing, I lower the lights and turn up the sound. I cook and plan and arrange scrumptious dishes. I get the windows open early so nobody gets too hot. I make sure there are plenty of places to put your drinks, and plenty of places to get more.

And I dance.

I have a button an old friend gave me - I think I might have been in my late teens. I believe the lady on the button is Emma Goldman, who was a Somebody even I had heard of. The button is a quote from her: "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution."

Well, it's been a number of years since I threw a dancing party, since my most recent Hubby does not dance. Not even in private. And so I was thrilled when the local group of pagans decided to throw a Witches' Ball. How wonderful, I thought. I now have a Boyfriend who dances, I'll invite a ton of friends, this will be a blast!

I did begin to have some doubts when I found out it was to be a non-alcoholic evening. As Ogden Nash put it so succinctly in his "Reflections on Ice-Breaking":

Candy is dandy,
But liquor is quicker.

My friends and I polished off a bottle of wine before heading out. As we walked to the establishment where the Ball was being held, we passed a homeowner who was delighted to see us in our finery and masks, and she volunteered that she was putting out fifty pumpkins! So we were in high spirits.

The hall was large. There were not enough tables to sit at, chairs were in very short supply. Some poor inexperienced youngster probably thought that would make people dance. It doesn't. It makes them stand against the walls for support, wishing they could sit down.

It was too hot, nobody wanted the windows open. It was too brightly lit, something that I have found discourages dancing quite thoroughly, and the music wasn't loud enough for the hall. In fact, had I been playing the music at that volume in my own apartment, I don't think the people upstairs would have noticed.

Needless to say, in my opinion, the "Ball" wasn't much of one.

As outgoing and as fun-loving as I am, I am of that age group where people dance in couples. Like "the buddy system" in swimming, I prefer to dance with a partner. I don't care what genders they are for other people, after all, variety is the spice of life! But for me, I prefer to dance with a man. That what the word "dancing" means to me, and I can't get past it. I can dance with a female friend, but I have the most difficulty of all getting up and joining a group of people who I don't know who are already dancing. Feels too much like muscling in for me to be comfortable.

Fortunately my lady pal S guessed my discomfort almost immediately and got me up dancing. And from the dance floor one did get a slightly better view of all the costumes.

There was a fellow who had been painted red and black - his head and face. He was done up in a demonic look. I went up to him and asked him if he was, in fact, painted red all over... "Wouldn't you like to know?" he smiled back. Delightful! The evening was getting better!

Another fellow entered the party, one of the chief organizers of this event, a young man who keeps himself too busy to ever have to follow through on his flirting... Since I was costumed and masked and he had just entered the room, I seized the opportunity to go give him a welcoming kiss - a GOOD one - he laughed and exclaimed "Who ARE you!!!" Once I laughed, the jig was up. I dragged him to introduce him to my pals, and then he was off visiting all his admirers.

About this time the music became tolerable to our ears and BF and I got up with the crowd and did our stuff for a few numbers.

Thanks to the lack of open windows, the plenitude of candles, and the number of bodies, the room was becoming quite hot. Masks and costumes were being peeled off all over, and the music was clearly geared to bodies about 30 years younger than ours.

Finally a recognizable song came on, and I dragged BF up onto the floor once more. It was quite deserted, of course, but this was the first evening he and I had had a chance to dance together, and this sort of thing takes practise...

We had a good time getting our cues mixed up and bumping into each other, but he managed to spin me around a few times and I was loving every second of it. Finally the song came to an end and I abruptly realized that, not only were we the only people on the floor, but everybody else was standing around us in a circle.

And then they all clapped.

BF bowed, I curtsied... but GEEZ - how humiliating is THAT?!

I can just imagine what they'd been saying while we were up there:

"Wow! Look at that! Gee, I hope I can still dance when I'm their age!"

This experience did not dampen my desire to dance, but we did leave shortly thereafter. I gave my "busy" pal a pinch on the bum as I left (he was wearing a "man-skirt", so access was unimpeded) and waved as we flew down the stairs and out into the cool night air.

And walking home, and talking with my friends, I came to the conclusion that there were only about three or four people in that entire crowd who knew how to have a good time. Even though they were pagans... I mean, it's pretty bad when even the christians are having more fun than the pagans!

And by and large, I find that very few people know when to let loose, let their hair down, let it all hang out... Get up on their feet and start moving around, if not actually dancing then at least talking to more than the two or three people they came with!

Well, to each his or her own. I personally have decided enough is enough, and come spring, I'm going to throw a PARTY. Cocktails, finger food, loud music, and buffet at midnight, or one a.m.

It's time to remember how to have FUN.