Watching Cesar Millan

"As you know, an animal escalates in one second! So you have to watch every second."

I love watching Cesar do his thing with dogs.

Exercise, Discipline, Affection.

Rules, Boundaries, Limitations.

"We have not allowed the brain to escalate..."

When I first started watching Cesar, I quickly understood that his techniques were totally applicable on my Hubby, or Stepkids.
I also realized that what I wanted personally was a strong "pack leader." And that in all my relationships, I had not found that pack leader, and had been forced to fill that role. Because, as Cesar says, the dog says to himself, "somebody always has to be pack leader, and if nobody else is gonna do it, then I have to."

This is how we end up with problem dogs. Dogs that won't stop barking, won't stop chasing, won't stop pulling, growling, terrorizing everyone. We are not fulfilling their expectations of what a pack leader is.

And I ended up screaming, yelling, angry all the time, because nobody would take charge of the situation, take charge of the children, set up rules, boundaries and limitations. For them, for me, for the EX-FROM-HELL, for anything or anyone...

And here I am, on my own.

In a recent discussion with the Human Resources person and Administrator from work, since my job is eliminated as of December 31 of this year, I was discussing my limitations. I was talking about how I can deal with excess stress once in a while, but on a day-to-day basis, eventually I'm going to snap. "Bark" at someone. Yell. Scream. Throw things. Exhibit Very Bad Behaviour.

"You get to a point," says Cesar, "where there is no trust, and no respect. That means there's no relationship."

I was talking about how I can cope with stress, at work, in my life, for so long, and do just fine: and then - "SNAP!" I "escalate" in one second.

In one second, I go from normal to psycho. Without warning - or at least, without any warning an outside person can see.

Just like an animal. Just like a dog.

"An animal escalates in one second," Cesar said.

Wow.

My "disablility" has a prototype. Dogs. Canine behaviour.

And a solution. A strong pack leader.

Stay calm and assertive.