Looking for Meaning

A.K.A., trying to make sense of it all.

Yesterday, Hubby, Stepdaughter, & friend V came for brunch. I scrambled around (ouch!) getting all this vegetarian food prepared, plus some veal sausages for Hub & me...

We ate. We talked. We watched funny things on the internet. And they all helped me take apart a quilt I have to do over. A (fairly) good time was had by all. Nothing of any real consequence was discussed, nothing about feelings, nothing serious. Just a visit.

One that left me, predictably, profoundly sad.

I miss them - Hubby, Stepdaughter, friend, yes, even silly stepson. I love them, you see. We had some good times, in the past 16 years. And though I can't deal with the mess and the chaos, and the lack of caring about the mess and chaos - it was good to see Stepdaughter, to just have her around for a few hours. It felt good.

Mind you, they did bring a little bit of chaos over with them! Apparently Stepson is attempting to move into a larger room in the basement. He's (shudder) motivated to empty his small room and move stuff from storage in the large room neatly into the small room, and that meant that my stuff that was being stored needed to go…So, here it is. On the floor, right in the way, in my apartment. I've put one load of laundry in and am trying to decide what to do with the sawed-off jeans. I'd like to make a quick quilt for Haitian refugees. I say "like to" because from experience I know they'll all be grandparents before I could finish it…

There was one funny moment, when Stepdaughter looked at the washing machine and exclaimed "How can you stand it?! It's got a plastic cover, for godssake!" I couldn't understand what the problem was, till I remembered how laundry is "done" back at the House. I brought her into my bedroom and showed her my laundry basket. It's about the size of a kitchen garbage can.

"See this?" I said. "When it's full, I do the laundry."

Realization filled her face. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "You do the laundry OFTEN! Lots of small loads!"

We hugged. It was a moment to cherish.