EEEEEWWWWW!

Well, today I made good on a New Year's Resolution. I went to a podiatrist. If you're squeamish, don't read today's entry. You have been warned!

I have a very thick callous on my right foot that's been there ever since I cut out my two plantar's warts back in my twenties.

Yes, I did. Twice. After getting the acid and using it for weeks, the things pulled out easily one day. Then a callous grew over the holes, but the pain stayed and quickly became unbearable. So I cut through the callous and found the warts hadn't completely gone. So I started treatment again and dug around them and finally got them for good. Then the callous grew and grew and grew.

I'd use pumice, lotions, get pedicures, and in desperation would take scissors to it. I'd taken to calling it a hoof.

Turns out there ain't much can be done about it except keep it soft and use a pumice on it once a week. The scissors are out. Even the doctor winced when I told her that.

The other item was three toenails that have become thick. A number of years ago I went to my family doctor and asked about it, he squinted at it for a second and said "I think it's a fungus." He wrote me a prescription for a topical fungicide, which I promptly lost. I simply didn't believe it.

Guess what. It's a fungus. It makes the nail thicken and darken, and where I used to have just one affected nail, I now have three, due to lack of proper sterilization of tools after cleaning.

Yuck.

There's a fungus amongus.

There were three solutions presented to me, none of which is a topical fungicide - so now I have to follow up on that again!

Solution 1, which only works 30% of the time, is a medicated nail polish that has to be applied every day. She didn't think it would work for me, since my "colony" is so well-established.

Solution 2 is pills that have to be taken for three months, for which I'd have to get a prescription from my family doctor. It is effective in 70% of cases. The catch - they are hard on the liver. Ah - I already take medication that is hard on the liver. Not a candidate. Next!

Solution 3 - the laser.

Now there's a solution a sci-fi fiend can relate to! Yes! Lasers lasers everywhere! Zap! ZZZZZING! BZZT! Kill! Kill! Kill!

Of course, this isn't under medicare. It remains to be seen whether my work insurance will cover it as well. It takes at least four treatments and is effective in 70% of cases.

The good news is, the fungus itself is not dangerous. Just ugly, and, if the nails grow thick enough, uncomfortable. I'm not going to lose my nails, my toes or my feet.

She then proceeded to take out what looked for all the world like a dremmel tool and grind my affected nails thinner. Only this one has water spraying from it too, like a cement saw! Now my nails are a shadow of their former selves, but a bit patchy-looking, actually uglier than before. But thin. And for twice the price of a pedicure (which is now out of the question, since I'd be contaminating the equipment) I can go back any time and get them thinned down again.

So time will tell. Part of me would like to try the laser, since it's so cool it's hot!