Chinese Fire Drill!

We had Chinese Fondue for dinner last night - the one with the broth that boils in the pot, where you stick your meat and veggies on sticks and have to wait for them to cook, while having a good time yakking with all the great people who are around the table.

So hubby, stepkid, and I were having mushrooms, green pepper, asparagus and the usual meat... Ended up with the 4 sauces I made plus three bottles of mystery slime the other two wanted, since my sauces "taste funny..." (grrrr - don't get me started...)

Anyway, the flame ran out - we'd used up the fuel, since this takes much longer than a cheese fondue...

And you know how, RIGHT ON THE BOTTLE of fondue fuel, it says, in LARGE letters: "CAUTION. Do not fill resevoir while still lit, or while hot. If flame dies during fondue, REMOVE resevoir and WAIT for it to become completely COOL. NEVER fill resevoir while at the table, danger of BURNS. ALWAYS fill resevoir away from food and diners."

Ok, so that's easy enough to understand. Everybody knows you don't refill a fondue burner when it's lit, hot, or while at the table, right?

Welllllllllll...

Hubby says, "Oh. It's gone out." (Removes burner from under pot, grabs bottle of fuel, which is sitting handily on the table.

I say, "Hey. At least take it away from the...."

My words were cut off by a fireball shooting across the table in the direction he was pouring. A line of fire sped at, oh, warp factor 4, straight towards stepkid. Everybody shrieks. Lots of stuff happens in a split-second. (By the way, it is this ability to move at warp 6 during emergencies that has me convinced time travel IS possible. I continue...)

Thank god Stepkid is an athlete - good reflexes! Up with the arm to protect her face, and sideways off the chair to get out of the way. Hubby tries to get bottle to sink, gets burned, drops bottle. Bottle rolls to a stop and burns fiercely against cabinet, on floor behind Stepkid's chair. Hubby yelling pain, grabbing tea-towel to throw, me yelling get a towel get a towel, got one from linen closet, threw it beside tea towel... pant pant pant... ok, fire's out.

(Ha!)

Yelling at hubby - "get that under cold water!" Asking Stepkid, "Your arm. Are you burnt?" Stepkid has giggles. "No! But look - the hair on my arm is gone!" She runs for the phone, to call her girlfriend RIGHT AWAY because this was SO COOL! While she's on the phone, I get her to put her arm under the faucet as well, and keep urging hubby to put his hand back under...

Let's pause now, to talk about hubby's expertise. Hubby is trained in emergency first aid. Been to at least a DOZEN courses, keeps getting re-certified...

Stepkid has also taken emergency first aid, and SHE remembered the bit about putting cold water on burns...

I took ONE course, and I remembered about putting cold water on burns....

Well, hubby of course doesn't remember that bit, and god forbid he should do what two people are telling hm to do without an argument.......

We resume.

Stepkid looks at her chair and yells "Hey! Look at my chair! OHMYGOD - my FACE was there!"

Sure enough, there's a one-inch hole in the fabric of her chair. Her instincts had prevented her from getting a singe up there.

But Stepkid is still excited. "OHMYGOD I could have burnt my HAIR!"

Amazing what some people find important, eh?

As I move over to examine the burn in the chair, something catches my eye. Something on the floor beside Hubby's chair is still burning! It's his computer bag! I grab the towel off the floor and put it out. The bag is burnt through (plastic) on the top layer and looks oddly skeletal... There is much moaning and wailing that his computer is destroyed, but no, it turns out the computer is safely in another room. Only the bag is damaged.

Hubby takes a diabetic needle and proceeds to EXTRACT liquid from his blisters, over the shouts from Stepkid and me....
It boggles the mind... He said it relieved the pressure...

I pick up the now-cool bottle and read aloud to Stepkid "NEVER fill hot burner. ALWAYS fill away from food and diners. Wait till burner is COMPLETELY COOL before filling.

She gets it! And we have three souvenirs of the best family dinner EV-ER... a burnt bag, a singed fondue fork, and a burnt table-top. "Oh shit!" said Stepkid, "we'll have to get a new table!"

Not.