A Chip off the Old Block (Head)

Well, now that Obama's been safely sworn in, I'm free to discuss my latest run-in with my Dad. But before I begin, I wish to make one thing clear:

I LOVE MY DAD VERY MUCH.

I have to say this, because Dad and I parted company on several topics about 30 years ago. There is, in fact, pretty much only one thing we have in common any more, and that is our love for each other.

But about politics, money, sex, religion, schooling, health care... you name it, we literally CAN'T STAND the other person's viewpoint.

Most people would say "Sure, sure, Deb, we all disagree with our parents from time to time..." but for them, I have this fact.

My Dad and Stepmom LEFT the Southern Baptist Church, because the Southern Baptist Church was not FUNDAMENTALIST enough for them.

Take a minute to let that one sink in before you go any further. I come by my insanity honestly. I come by my sanity at quite a price, let me assure you.

Well anyway, there I was on the phone with Pop a few weeks ago, and as usual we were discussing my Stepmom's failing health. Daddy was going on that her long-term memory was fine, just the short-term stuff, the immediate stuff, she couldn't hold on to.

Now usually I avoid (like the plague) entangling myself in any argument with Daddy, but that day I was feeling frisky, so I risked it.

"Ask her who the President of the United States is," I quipped.

My meaning was not lost on my father. Oh no, we both know EXACTLY what buttons to push...

Well, there followed a tirade I was very sorry I'd let loose upon the world. Pandora didn't do nuttin', compared to this! First, he was a terrorist. Then, he wasn't even an American. He was a thief, a branded criminal. He didn't have any of those dee-grees he claimed. On and on and on... me trying to interject some rational statements into the middle. "Don't be ridiculous! If he wasn't an American, the Press would've found out! It'd be all over the front pages!" "It has been!" "Out here in the REAL world, Daddy!" "Willya LISTEN to me? Willya LISTEN?" "No, Daddy, I'm not going to listen to this shit! It's totally ridiculous!"

And so on.

But the worst of it was, he alluded to a "plan" that was in the works that would see to it that Obama would never take office. At that point, a heavy black object took root in my innards and began reaming me from the inside out.

I called it off after that, hung up, complained loudly to Hubby, to my co-workers, to anybody who'd listen what an idiot my father was. But the inauguration day loomed, and the little five-year old girl inside of me, who still somehow believes what her daddy tells her, was wringing her hands and gnashing her teeth in utter anguish, terrified that he might be correct. I remember when JFK was shot. "Abraham, Martin and John" is one of my favourite songs. I remember when John Lennon was shot, and Elton John's lyrics "It's funny how one insect can damage so much grain." I remember when a guy went on the wrong day to the Quebec Government offices, wanting to shoot everybody. I remember the Ecole Polytechnique. I remember Dawson College.

I really don't like guns, and I seriously mistrust anybody who wields one. "Guns don't kill people - People kill people." Sure. BUT IF THEY DON'T HAVE ANY F***G GUNS AND THEY HAD TO USE KNIVES IT WOULD TAKE THEM A LOT LONGER....!!! (Don't get me started....)

We watched the inauguration at work, and shortly after that I realized the knot in my stomach was also caused by the stomach flu, and I spent a couple days in bed recovering, but mostly being thankful no ill had befallen America's Last Hope, as I have come to think of him. I cried in relief, I cried in anger at my dad, I cried in pain for my innards, and for my family, which is spread all over North America, some of them so far away they may as well be on the moon, for all the chance I have of ever seeing them again.

Hubby, by the way, when he heard what pop had spewed out at me, said, "Oh, he's just swallowed all the bullshit from the attack ads! They said all those things about him starting the day he declared his candidacy, and your Dad's just believed it all!"

When I thought about that, a bunch of other facts fell into line. Like the fact that my Dad made the mistake of falling for the Amway scam. He pulled himself out of that, only to fall into the Team National scam. Dad, ya gotta love him, just can't see these things for what they are. He's a "believin'" kind of guy. He just believes stuff. No reasoning skills. Bless his heart, he means well, but he falls for the same things over and over and over.

Well, back to my epiphany. There I was, sobbing on the bed, continuing the silent 30-year-old arguments with my dad, out loud, while he wasn't there, and saying how INSENSITIVE he was and how BIGOTED he was and how he never LISTENED to anyone else's point of view, how he was COMPLETELY INTOLERANT of other people's opinions... I heard him saying "Willya LISTEN to me?" over and over, heard myself screaming "No I WON'T!"...

And then it hit me. I, too, am often completely intolerant of other people's opinions. I too fail to listen to what people are trying to tell me. I was just like him. Different opinions, but the exact, same lousy ATTITUDE.

And then I heard my oft-blamed Grandmother's voice say "See! It wasn't all my fault! Some of this is your Dad's fault!"

And I finally started to laugh. Right you are, Grandma! Right you are! And I called Daddy back and told him this, and he said quietly, on the other end, "Yeah. I guess you're a chip off the old blockhead."