Yet Another Tumble...

For the second time in as many weeks, I fell off my bike today.

Every time I fall, it's when I am stopped. If I keep my derriere on that seat, I'm gonna go down. The pedals can't go any lower to the ground, my seat is the correct height for the length of my legs from the seat to the pedals, but the sum adds up to about two inches too high for me, and when I'm stopped, I fall over in perfect Arte Johnson style. Only I ain't laughing.

But I think that I've got the hint this time. I'm going out to buy a helmet, wrist supports and knee pads. I don't have any evidence of osteoporosis, the doc tells me. But I do have fibromyalgia, and the sore joints that come with it. I don't need further injury.

A girlfriend of mine, not too long ago, was riding with me.

"You're not wearing a helmet," she observed.

"Don't have one," I replied.

"Well, I not going to unplug you," was her comment. It took me a while. Unplug me?

"From the life-support machine," she finally filled in. "After you have the accident that splits your head in two. I'll come see you and watch you get eaten by bedsores, but I won't unplug you. You'll deserve your fate, if you're stupid enough to ride around without a helmet!"

Now, some might find this comment a little harsh, but it did finally get me to realize that I'm not in Kansas anymore. Or, to be more accurate, I'm not in Greenfield Park any more. I'm living in the CITY now. There are a lot more cars and trucks, and cyclists, and pedestrians here. And potholes. And I need to protect myself properly.

After all, I wear a seatbelt when I'm driving!

Ok, so I'll go get myself some gear come payday. But I wonder, is that all I should be looking at? Perhaps, on a larger-frame bike, the seat wouldn't have to be that high. Perhaps I should be considering a recumbent bicycle. At least, in one of those, I'd be closer to the ground and it wouldn't hurt so much when I fall out/off of it!

Perhaps I should accept my limitations and buy myself a large tricycle. One with gears, and maybe an engine to help me get up hills. A big basket in the back for all my groceries. Maybe even a little trailer, for the cat! OMG - I can just hear the comments from the people I'd be passing...

"Lookee there, Mavis! There goes that crazy cat lady on her tricycle agin! Land sakes - what's she got in that ole basket today? Why, she got a fifty pound box o kitty litter, she got her some gallon bottles of water, and if I'm not mistaken, that there's a two-four of Coors Light! Wow, she sure do know how to party! Uh-oh, Mavis, she's stuck tryin' to git up that hill. Guess I'll go give her a push agin, like I done last week..."

Hardly the "look" I'd be wanting to create. "Lovely single female, active, loves pets and cycling..." In stark contrast to the "Madwoman of Chariot", swearing at the gears on her tricycle, frazzled hair flying every which way, sweat pouring down her face as she pedals herself into a conniption fit. At least there wouldn't be cigarettes hanging from my lips and ash blowing in the wind, since I don't smoke... Just for fun, stick me in one of those orange, white and red tent dresses the big black women wear for festivals...

Hmm. Maybe not.

Am I going to have to take taxis to do my groceries? It goads me to think of forking out good money just to get from point A to point B, when I already have a bus pass, but can't carry heavy bags! And having to give the g-d driver a TIP, just for turning up! Half of them don't even get out of their cars, they just pop the trunk for you, then want a big tip for doing nothing that an ordinary Gentleman would have done for free.

OMG - I used the "G"-word! That dates me, for SURE!

I'm too young to have groceries delivered - they charge $5 to deliver, AND you have to give the guy a tip. When you're a SENIOR, you only have to pay $2, and I'm already old enough to be insulted by that. Why in tarnation can't stores simply offer the service - for FREE? Good god, having a grocery store is practically a license to print money!

All complaints aside, this fall "shook me up" in a different way than the last one. I've still got a few years of bicycling ahead of me, so it's time smarten up and wear protective gear.

But I promise faithfully to never, EVER, wear spandex shorts! I mean, some things are simply indecent.