Baseball Blues

Or, "I Remember Mama."

My Mom used to hate this time of year. I'd get a phone call sometime around the end of September or the earliest days of October, and she'd say:

"One hundred and eighty-three days, Deborah."

"I beg your pardon, Mom?" I would say, totally confused.

"That's how long I have to wait till the Blue Jays play again. For the next one hundred and eighty-three days, I have NOTHING to look forward to."

Mom was a Blue Jays fan. And I became one, simply because if I wanted to see my Mom between April and October, I had to watch the games with her.

Because NOTHING and NO-ONE came between Mom and her Blue Jays when they were on!

At first, when I started watching the games at my own home, I had an overpowering urge to iron and smoke, since that's what Mom used to do while watching the games. She's be ironing Stepdad's shirts, and smoking like a chimney. She'd pause sometimes, to watch a play, and it usually ended with "Good for you, Wells!" or "Christ!" when a play was missed. Then she'd light up another smoke, inhale, blow it out, and with it would come another expletive.

It was from my Mom that I learned the phrase "Built like a brick shithouse!"

And when Roy Halliday took the mound, she'd say, "Yes, Deb. That's how I know I'm not dead yet." Actually, that phrase came up more frequently than just Roy, but she and I agreed on Roy! Yep. Not dead yet.

Once I began to take up the cause, she gave me the book "The Official Rules of Baseball" for my birthday. It was a tough slog, and I didn't understand the half of it. But I did make the attempt. I should try to find it again, now that I have an inkling as to what's happening on the field! It might mean more to me now...

Mom had a Blue Jays lawn chair, a Blue Jays sweater, and several Blue Jays pins. She knew the names of all the players, even the ones on the other teams.

And she really had it in for Derek Jeter. He plays for the Yankees. His salary alone would do the entire Jays payroll. And man, does he EVER love to see himself on camera.

"Yes, Jeter, we see you, you little f***r! Now stop admiring yourself and strike out, for chrissake!"

(Except he doesn't do that very often... Usually only when Roy is pitching.)

Mom also knew the coaches, trainers, and umpires. Hell, she probably knew the names of the bat-boys! She knew the standings - something I can still only guess at.

By the time I twigged on to the idea of getting her tickets for her birthday though, she was too fragile and ill to go. "Maybe next year," she sighed, always hoping that she'd get better, always looking for a better day tomorrow.

It boggles my mind how I could not see her death coming. Looking back over all the events of the two years prior to the stroke that finally took her from us forever, all the markers are there. The special meds to slow down her heart. The fact that they couldn't stabilize her blood - it was always swinging from too thick to too thin. Her rapid weight gain because of the now slow heart. The fact that she now took naps in the middle of the day. And some days just went back to bed.

I should have seen it coming. I should have known we were on borrowed time, but I'm naive about that, or in denial. I missed out on countless opportunities when she was healthy, opportunities to go see her, play cards with her, yak with her. I only twigged on at the very, very end...

Like the announcers often say, "Caught him looking..." In baseballs terms, that means the batter was fooled by the pitcher and didn't try to hit the ball, but just watched it sail by. The batter was expecting a different pitch, and didn't swing. Hence, "caught him looking."

Well, this season is just about over for the Jays this year. I took a look at next year's calendar, and it is indeed exactly one hundred and eighty-three days from the 4th of October this year till the season begins again on April 5th next year. The Jays are not going to be playing any post-season games this year. Maybe next year.

Meanwhile, we can "kiss this one good-bye."