"How in the world…"

Oh, come on, ye young folk, gather round for my song -

Your lives have been short, but mine has been long -

Time is laying a trap for you, lying in wait -

By the time he has struck, we'll be gone -

And then you'll be singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues.

I've got one knee that won't bend, and one won't go straight -

Years ago, unwittingly I sealed my fate -

I left gym class too early to go read my books

Now I feel like I've arrived at Death's gate -

And I found myself singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues.

Well, "Eat less and excercise?" What did they know!

I'd the world by the tail and I knew where to go -

My cream-cheese-and-cherry-pie, and my chocolate cake too -

Have conspired like the ocean's undertow -

And I found myself singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues.

So take a lesson, young people, from this tired old bat -

Get up and get moving, find out where it's at -

Don't you drink-too-much-smoke-too-much-sit-on-the-couch -

Or you'll wake up so old and so fat

You'll be lost and be singing the - "How in the world did I get this way?" blues!