Our Daily Bread

When I was a teenager, and a born-again, there was a small devotional pamphlet that was making the circles of christians in this part of the world, called "Our Daily Bread."

The concept being that a daily devotion would help one become a "better" christian.

I did my best, but there was always a part of me that rebelled against being ordered to do something every day of my life. It was one of the weakest links in my spirituality, which I finally worked out had been imposed on me without my consent from day one; and it was the first thing to go when I started to examine my life and beliefs.

My spirituality - my own spirituality, my own journey - the one that came from my heart, from my innermost being, and grew outwards, said "you do not have to believe any particular thing; you do not have to practice any particular thing; you do not have to associate with any particular group of people." The flip side of which is: "I can believe what grows from within; I can practice that which moves me; I can love and associate freely with those who resonate with me."

That's my kind of religion! But I digress...

Within every religious or spiritual group I have learned about, there still exists this concept, that to be a "better" whatever, one needs to "practice" something every day.

This still doesn't resonate with me. It still feels like something imposed from outside.

But then something happened that caused me to understand on a personal level where this daily practice thing probably came from, helped me to see it from a different angle.

I learned to knit. Rather strangely, actually - from a recurring dream. Every night for four nights I had a dream where I would see one knitting needle and some yarn being cast on. About five stitches would cast on, slowly enough that I could see and understand what was happening with the knot, then the dream would reset and start again.

On the fifth morning I got up, found a barbecue skewer and some string, and tried it. It worked, and now I have a whole other place to spend my money!

Hats, scarves, and now socks aside, this new passion started something of an internal process in me that went like this:

Over my morning coffee (which is absolutely sacred!) I would pick up my knitting and get some rows in, either just a couple of rows if I had a day that began early, or dozens of rows, if I had time to spare.

But in either case, it was ME TIME. Time for me to be alone, without distractions like things I was supposed to do, things people wanted of me, television on, animals to tend...This was only for ME. It was mine alone, my special time to do what moved me, to do something that gave me pleasure, and it came first. Before the day got away from me.

First thing. Every day.

And I loved it. It was nourishing my soul.

And then I made the connection. This "zen-and-the-art-of-knitting" thing was a daily practice, and it was feeding my soul, in a way that no bible study, no daily reading of any type of spiritual book, no attempt at daily prayers, had done.

So now, when my brain starts to surface after my second coffee (there's a joke somewhere in there about the "second coming...") and after a few rows, I wonder in amazement that everything in the universe has conspired to bring this yarn, this beautiful, colorful, soft, superwash yarn, to my fingers. All the animals that have been raised for their wool. All the techniques from the days of cave dwellers through to today's methods for bringing this long staple wool for me to knit something for the people I love...what an amazing process and journey! I marvel at the steel needles in my hands and how soft the wool is and this gift of such pleasure that sprang from my own dreams... I thank the lady Universe for bringing it to me, for allowing me to make something, for giving me this time to myself, where it can be just the Universe and me, having coffee, being at peace, getting ready to face the day.

This then, is the source of the concept of a daily devotion: something that resonates with the individual, that gives them inner peace, that creates a sense of gratitude, of amazement at this marvelous world, of pure pleasure at being allowed to participate in life. Whatever one's religion or spirituality is called, this is the thing we are driven to seek.

A moment alone with the universe.